The following post is one of a series of posts appearing Monday through Friday on The Cancer Blog. This feature -- Today, I am grateful -- allows me to share with readers my appreciation for all the treasures in my life, both big and small. In my post-cancer world, I find It healing for my soul to be mindful of the good in my life. It is my pleasure to share my gratitude with you.

When I think about how much my mom rescued me during my breast cancer treatment, I always land at the fact that she watched my little boys for 35 days in a row while I transported myself to and from radiation therapy. That wasn't all she did -- she also accompanied me to surgery, sat with me during chemotherapy treatments, parked herself by my bedside when I was hospitalized, dried my tears, fed me, hugged me, encouraged me, and loved me.

My mom helped me survive cancer. She is my hero.

Today, I am grateful for my mom.

A study published in Cancer, a peer reviewed journal of the American Cancer Society, found that cancer survivors are more likely to seek out support groups than individuals with other chronic conditions. They stated that one in four survivors participate in a support group after diagnosis.

According to the study, treating physicians seemed to recognize that support groups are helpful but only one in ten cancer patients studied had received a recommendation to seek out a support group. Support groups are widely available but seem to be poorly handled by the physicians.

Dr. Jason Owen, co-investigator in the study, says "This study sheds light on which individuals with cancer use (support) services. It will help clinicians recognize the importance of support groups for cancer patients. Assistance in identifying and accessing support groups should be a standard of care for all patients receiving curative, follow-up, or palliative care for cancer".

While reading the spring issue of Cure Magazine I came across an article on a book called Help Me Live: 20 Things People with Cancer Want You to Know.

I have not read the book but I think it would be a great resource for those who have a family or friend with cancer. There is a need for a guide --I think this book can fill that gap.

Why would a guide be needed? I have found throughout my cancer journey that fellow survivors have many stories of unthoughtful, tasteless, ridiculous and sometimes funny comments from those around them. We can laugh at a lot of the comments because we know the person means well -- but sometimes it does go too far and can hurt.

What this book does is give the friend or family member some insight on what would be most helpful to the cancer patient. Based on the author's own experience with the disease and other survivors, each chapter tells intimate stories about one of the 20 most important messages people with cancer want to convey.

Help Me Live will help you find the word or gestures to show how much you care. There is never a 'right thing' to say or do but learning how to communicate effectively is very important.

This book can also be helpful to the cancer survivors themselves says Kathy Latour who wrote the article in Cure Magazine. She says "This book is not just for its intended audience of friends and caregivers, but for cancer patients too. In part, it affirms the cutting edge comments we made when Uncle Jack said something tasteless and painful. But in addition to reminding me of the many challenging people in my journey, the stories also revealed ways I could have handled them a little better"

Chances are, someone you love has breast cancer. And if not now, one day this is likely to be true -- because one in eight women will develop an invasive form of the disease at some point during her lifetime.

If and when it happens to you, when you find yourself saying, Someone I love has breast cancer, one of the first things you'll consider is how you might help. It's a natural feeling -- the urge to reach out -- and I've got an idea for you if you find yourself searching for the right way to brighten the day for that someone you love.

Think about this:

How about honoring your loved one in a special Ladies' Home Journal website photo gallery? Simply find a photograph that candidly captures the essence of your special someone, why you love her, and how she is surviving the disease.

To submit by e-mail, send your photo digitally in JPEG format to lhj.breastcancer@meredith.com. Type "breast cancer" in the subject line, and include the following information:

Her Name:
Her Age:
Where she lives (City, State):
What LHJ should know about her:
Your Name:
Your Address:
Your Phone Number:
Your e-mail address:

To submit by mail, include the same information and a copy of your photograph. Mail to:

Ladies' Home Journal/Breast Cancer Photo Gallery, 125 Park Avenue, 20th Floor, New York, NY 10017

Deadline: July 11, 2007

My friend -- who has a friend newly diagnosed with brain cancer -- greeted me at the door the other day and asked with a sense of urgency, "How can I help?"

"Help your friend?" I asked.

"Yes, she said, unsure of what she might say or do in this time of great difficulty for everyone involved.

I told her a few things. And then I thought of some more. It wasn't terribly easy to come up with these ideas. Because even though I myself was on the receiving end of help during my cancer journey, it's still hard to imagine what an individual wants or needs -- or doesn't want or need. But here's what I've got to offer.

I hope this helps my friend.

I hope it helps you too.

• Allow your loved one to take the lead. If you sense this person wants to talk, then talk. If you sense talk is not welcomed, then don't talk. To determine whether or not your friend or family member wants to discuss cancer, approach the topic and judge the response you get. I know I can usually tell if someone is willing to open up -- typically the conversation just flows -- and when someone is putting the brakes on chit-chat -- typically the conversation falls flat.

• If talk is not in the cards, then consider an offer of food. Sometimes actions speak much louder than words. So think about calling a restaurant in your friend's town and ordering a meal to be delivered right to the door. Most eating establishments accept credit card numbers over the phone so location should be a non-issue. Even those deep in despair need to eat, and taking away the chore of cooking and cleaning up can be quite a gift.

• If the gift of food is not up your alley, how about sending a small gift, like a candle, a pair of cozy socks, a grocery store gift card, a music CD, a gift certificate for a spa. You name it, your special something might brighten the day.

• If you live near your loved one and have some free time, offer to drive to appointments, visit during treatments, pick up kids and entertain them for the day, clean house, cook, and clean up dinner. Try to be very specific with your offers. Say, "I'd like to pick up your kids tomorrow at lunch so you can take a nap" or "I'm coming over on Sunday to rake leaves." These offers are easier to accept than the "call me if you need anything" kind.
  

• If a quick stop at your loved one's house is possible, drop off a book on the front porch or set some pretty potted flowers by the door. Or do both. Then walk away without saying a word. Let your help take your friend by surprise.

• When you do have the chance to talk, avoid guiding the conversation with your own thoughts and advice, unless requested. Saying, "Everything will be OK," for example, may not be true. Assuring your friend she will sail right through chemotherapy may backfire if nausea and fatigue are just down the road. Stating, "it's OK, your hair will grow back," doesn't really help those living with the horror of hair loss. So stay away from promises and predictions and stick to the present. Ask questions, listen, and paraphrase back what your friend has shared. These are basic counseling techniques. The premise is that allowing the person to work through the issues is more important than what we can do to directly help.
  

• Don't forget about the good old greeting card or short note that lets your loved know how much you care. Let the card say it if you wish to avoid writing and then add an address, a stamp, and send your support on its way.
  

• This makes eight -- so much for sticking to my Sunday plan -- but I must share this too: Don't forget about your loved one after months and even years pass by. Initial diagnoses are tough and treatments are tough too. But as your friend survives each day, remember to check in. Cancer is a life-long battle for many. Support and assistance may be just as valuable a year down the road as it is on day one.

Research indicates that young breast cancer survivors have a harder time recovering emotionally from cancer than women who develop the disease later in life.

In Australia, a quality of life survey including 300 women found most survivors adjusted normally within 18 months after diagnosis. But women under the age of 50 reported more of a struggle with their emotional health.

Perhaps it's the direct threat to her life, or her fertility, or her sexuality, or her body image that brings on the added challenge for a young woman. Regardless, there are no easy solutions or quick remedies for lightening the load that weighs heavily on young minds.

Breast cancer changes everything, and bouncing back from the disease takes time. And this research validates the need for programs targeted at younger women, as well as further research to more clearly identify how to better help breast cancer's youngest victims.

Chemo is tough stuff. That's what my oncologist told me the day I tracked her down on the phone and told her how awful I felt. I was weak, dizzy, pale, and as close to incoherent as I'd ever been. I was so out of sorts I was convinced I would jump out of my skin at the very moment this doctor implied all I needed was a firm grip on reality.

"Do you have enough support?" she asked. "Yep," I replied. I told her my mom lives right around the corner, my sister just a few miles away. I told her friends were delivering meals and my husband was coming home from work whenever I called for him. Help was just a phone call away, and I had plenty of it. What I didn't have was medical guidance about how my body was tolerating chemotherapy. That's why I needed her.

I hung up the phone that day having accomplished nothing. And I woke up the next morning barely able to walk. I crawled into my kitchen, grabbed a banana, sprawled out on the floor, inhaled some nutrition, and called my mom. I told her I needed to have my blood examined.

My mom transported me to my oncology clinic -- we had a genetic counseling appointment there anyway so it was convenient timing -- and before long, I was hand-delivered a mask and was swiftly escorted to my very own hospital room where I stayed for five days.

The day I was admitted to the hospital, my white blood counts were 700. My body was not tolerating chemotherapy. And I'll never know why my oncologist didn't know this, didn't call me in for an evaluation when so many signs were presenting themselves, didn't offer me more than her steadfast declaration that "chemo is tough stuff."

Yes, chemo is tough. And there are all sorts of expected side effects of the dreaded treatment that patients must endure. But there are many effects patients should not have to suck up, effects that warrant immediate medical attention and can be alleviated with the right intervention.

It took days of antibiotic treatment and a blood transfusion for my body to recover from its chemotherapy attack. I often wonder what would have happened had I toughed it out at home. I suspect the outcome could have been tragic.

If I ever have the occasion to preach about the dangers of chemotherapy, which is what I am doing here, I offer a firm warning about how difficult the treatments can be, how anyone with any string of worrisome side effects should seek medical help immediately, how any oncologist who doesn't respond to an outright cry for help should be fired.

I learned many lessons from my chemo crusade. I learned how to better help myself, and I learned to report right to the emergency room the second time my blood counts plummeted. I learned to demand the care I deserve, and I found an oncologist who is a warm and caring partner in my pursuit of health. And I learned that chemo is tougher than I ever imagined, too tough for some -- like me -- to go it alone.

Breast cancer survivor Catherine West was married to her husband, Jason, in a very public ceremony in May. The couple beat out 450 other couples battling in the ESPN Marriage Madness competition and celebrated with sports fans everywhere their beautiful union, inspired not only by their love for one another but also by the one-year anniversary of Catherine's double mastectomy for breast cancer.

What fans didn't know at the time of the wedding was that Catherine knew in her heart something was very wrong. And just after she returned from her Indianapolis 500 honeymoon, Catherine learned her breast cancer had returned.

The 37-year-old from Jupiter, Florida underwent three more surgeries, chemotherapy, and radiation and is happy to report her treatment is complete. She is also certain breast cancer came to her life -- twice -- so she could make a difference.

"This happened to me so I could help other people,'" said West, who volunteers her time for the West Palm Beach Race for the Cure, a 5K walk and run sponsored by Susan G. Komen For The Cure.

Valerie Monroe, beauty director for The Oprah Magazine, writes a monthly column -- Ask Val -- that appears on the pages of Oprah's feel-good publication. She responds to questions about make-up, skin care, hair care, and overall body care too.

In her February 2007 column, Val writes, "Many of you have written to tell me that you began to be less critical of your body when you appreciated the things it could do." As I read this, I had what Oprah would call an Aha! moment, a moment when something just clicks and makes sudden sense. Aha!, I thought, as I considered all the things my body can do, completely independent of how I look on the outside. So while I was jogging today -- my body can now easily run three miles -- I ran through all of my body's accomplishments, and I stored them in the files of my mind so I could later write them down.

Here are seven things my body can do. As you read them, consider your own body -- its strength, its power, its capacity for greatness -- and remind yourself of your wondrous self the next time you start to criticize the way you look.

• My body can partner in the creation of human life. It can carry babies and deliver them and love them and care for them and raise them. Not all bodies have this power. I am lucky.

• My body can climb an attic staircase, crawl into cramped and dark corners, pull large boxes out of wedged spaces, drag them back to the staircase, and walk backwards down the stairs with goods balancing on my head so that I can fulfill the wish my five-year-old child who wanted so badly in early November to assemble our Christmas tree and decorate our house for the holidays. "Let's wait until Daddy gets home," I told Joey when I found myself crammed into a tiny space in the attic, wrestling with a heavy box full of artificial tree parts. "You can do it, Mommy," Joey said. "You are strong." And so I fought my way through the frustrating feat because I was afraid of the lessons I would teach this little boy if I didn't. In the end, it was Joey who taught me the lesson. I can do it. I am strong.
  

• My body can endure and conquer a 5K run when it once could barely run around the block. With a little extra effort and push, I think my body can accomplish even more.

• My body, once weak and without definition, can lift increasingly heavy weight and can generate muscle tone. It can even do push-ups -- real push-ups. It takes dedication and practice and persistence and mental toughness too. But I see progress. I feel progress. And I want more.

• My body can help others. I can use my fingers to type words on a keyboard that will reach friends and family and people I don't even know. My words can inform and support and encourage and heal. I can use my hands and my semi-creative talents to create hand-made gifts, to cook and deliver very mediocre meals for friends in need, to massage my husband's sore back, to braid my niece's beautiful hair and paint her tiny nails. I can use my arms to hug my little boys with all my might. I can use my voice to communicate, my ears to listen, my senses to feel.
  

• My body can tolerate surgery and chemotherapy and radiation and horrible allergic reactions to antibiotics. My body was badly beaten by a treatment protocol intended to cure me of a disastrous disease. And somehow, in some way, it survived.
  

• My body killed cancer. With the aid of medical intervention and a hopeful attitude, my body overcame the worst and best thing that has ever happened to me. And if it could do nothing else, I would be truly happy for this one thing my body can do.
  

Men Bleed Too is a story written by Thomas Brown. Thomas kept a journal and recorded his wife Barbara's journey through breast cancer, starting in December of 1992, after a cancerous tumor was found in Barbara's right breast.

This book, compiled from the journal entries that captured Thomas's life while going through breast cancer with his wife, provides basic information to help the male caretaker though the process and journey of dealing with a loved one diagnosed with cancer. He talks about medical decisions, care management, medications, treatments prescribed, and the emotional roller coaster of feelings he had when confronted with bad or good news.

This book can give the caregiver of someone diagnosed with cancer a feeling that they are not alone in the daily issues they have to face.

Sadly, Barbara died two years after fighting the disease.

Thomas has since married Connie, who encouraged him to turn his journals into a book. He is also at work on his second book entitled She Taught Me How to Laugh Again. In this story he relates how he and Connie met, helped each other through the grieving process and moved forward with their lives.

The cost of drugs to treat cancer can be very expensive. If you do not have good medical insurance it could prove disastrous for you and your family.

I read an article in Cure Magazine last night called Help for Patients. In this article it provided information on assistance programs. It also mentioned that many patient assistance programs will require proof of income, social security income, interest and retirement to prove financial burden and to meet income requirements of the programs.

Patients interested in enrolling in an assistance program can start by doing some research on the organizations listed below:

• Amgen Reimbursement Connection: 800-272-9376 www.amgen.com/patients/assistance.html
• Bristol-Myers Squibb Patient Assistance Foundation: 800-736-0003 www.bmspaf.org
• CancerCare: 800-813-4673 www.cancercare.org
• GlaxoSmithKline's Commitment to Access: 866-865-6491 www.commitmenttoaccess.gsk.com
• Genentech's Single Point of Contact: 888-249-4918 www.spoconline.com
• Lilly Cares: 800-545-9662 www.lillycares.com
• Partnership in Prescription Assistance: 888-477-2669 www.pparx.org
• Patient Advocate Foundation: 866-512-3861 www.copays.org
• Pfizer's FirstRESOURCE: 877-744-5675 www.pfizerhelpfulanswers.com
• RxAssist and Rx Outreach Patient Assistance Programs: www.rxassist.org
• RxHope: 877-979-4673 www.rxhope.com
• Sanofi-Aventis's PACT plus: 800-996-6626
• Schering-Plough's Commitment to Care Program: 800-51-7157 www.schering-plough.com
• Together Rx Access: 800-444-4106 www.togetherrxaccess.com

There is something to be said for the power of prayer. On the morning the lump in my breast was removed, a friend rallied more than 80 friends from our local MOMS Club to say a prayer for me -- at the exact time I was wheeled into an operating room. I know nothing of the prayer they said for me, but I do know I emerged from surgery with my breast intact and with the knowledge that my cancer had not spread to my lymph nodes.

I don't know for sure what role prayer played in my good fortune -- but I don't discount that it is in some way responsible for the fact that I am alive today.

But there are other obvious factors responsible for my survival -- like chemotherapy, radiation, physical therapy, targeted drug therapy, and counseling. So I don't think prayer alone saved me. I think it took a balance of varied forces to save my life -- a balance one Ohio man was not able to achieve.

The children of Darrell Perry are filing suit against their aunt, Darlene Bishop -- Perry's sister and an evangelical preacher -- who claims both she and Perry were cured of cancer through prayer.

Perry was not cured and died a year and a half ago from throat cancer. And Bishop now reveals she was never diagnosed with breast cancer -- like she claimed at one time -- but was merely worried she may have had the disease. Yet the message in her book Your Life Follows Your Words speaks loud and clear in its message -- that prayer can cure cancer.

Perry's children says their aunt is lying and exploiting their father for her own financial gain. They have filed two suits -- one accusing her of mismanaging and misusing Perry's estate and the other alleging wrongful death for convincing Perry to pray rather than seek medical help.

Puja Thomson, counselor, healing facilitator, educator, and minister, has a newly-released book -- After Shock: From Cancer Diagnosis to Healing: A step-by-step guide to help you navigate your way -- that is just perfect for just about anyone dealing with cancer.

Thomson, surviving her own bout with cancer, offers practical suggestions to help others clarify their cancer journeys in this book that features topics such as reaching out for help, designing your own personal wellness program, crafting challenges into hopeful perspectives, and organizing financial records and medical paperwork in simple ways.

Thomson shares her own firsthand stories and borrows reflections from other fellow cancer travelers. She offers a well-balanced sampling of ideas from which readers can pick and choose as they create their navigation plans. She does it all because she knows cancer can come as a shock. She also knows life goes on after the shock.

New research suggests that it is not uncommon for cancer caregivers to suffer emotional or psychological problems as a result of caring for a loved one battling cancer, and they often suffer in silence. According to study results, the anxiety and stress of caring for someone with cancer is comparable to caring for someone with Alzheimer's disease. This news will come as little surprise to caregivers but it might be a blindspot of need traditionally overlooked by others in the community and medical fields. In USA Today Cancer hurts caregivers, several caregivers stories are featured highlighting the challenges faced as family members struggle to take care of a loved one in cancer treatment.

Aside from the emotional trauma of learning a loved one has been diagnosed with a disease that may cut life short and the psychological effects that can manifest in feelings of hopelessness and unrelenting fear, New York's Memorial-Sloan Kettering Cancer Center psychiatrist Jimmie Holland points out that hospitals are currently discharging cancer patients sicker and quicker when they are still in great pain before their wounds have healed. As a result, family members, who are not trained medical professionals, are left to provide the level of medical care of experienced nurses.

In reaching out to cancer caregivers, the answer might start with something as simple as providing a talk therapy environment where caregivers have a safe place to open up and share their thoughts and feelings. A resource of trained counselors and nurses who can offer reassurance and practical help in navigating the inner terror, and at times, the physical exhaustion of cancer care. For additional information and support resources for caregivers, visit the Cancer Caregivers category of this blog.

The magazine Beyond: Live and Thrive After Breast Cancer made its public debut on September 19 when it arrived on the shelves of bookstores and grocery stores across the United States. And the magazine -- created to help breast cancer survivors nurture their physical and emotional health -- has caused quite a stir already.

Readers of a previous Cancer Blog post introducing the magazine say they can't get enough it and can't wait for the next issue. Contributing Editor Martha Miller Johnson says it's been a crazy month for the magazine team. She reports that the magazine is selling incredibly well, that she is receiving the most amazing e-mails from a wonderful group of women. The Des Moines Register and Connecticut Post both have done big stories on the magazine and in the midst of the flurry of success, work has already begun on the next and second issue that will hit newsstands on March 20, 2007.

Beyond is published by Meredith Special Interest Media twice per year in Fall/Winter and Spring/Summer editions. Currently, subscriptions are not available, but the magazine is available all across America and can also be purchased on-line.

It's no surprise this magazine has caught the attention of people everywhere. It's a timely, colorful, glossy breast cancer handbook. It's chock full of candid stories, recent research, and helpful hints. It's a breast cancer community that is inspiring, hopeful, and completely comforting.