I recently wrote about Jesse Gruman's book, "Aftershock -- What To Do When The Doctor Gives You -- Or Someone You Love -- A Devastating Diagnosis" as covered by Jane Brody of the NY Times. Brody continues her coverage this week, with more tips from Gruman.

First up, know your doctor. Gruman advises finding a specialist who is up-to-date on your disease and has lots of experience. She also recommends checking with the state medical board regarding any disciplines or malpractice suits against the physician and assessing any local information obtained from other patients and friends. Dr. Gruman also advises not to be surprised if the doctor cannot answer questions like, "Am I going to beat this disease?" or "How long can I go on like this?" Gruman notes that it is "difficult, if not irresponsible" for a doctor to guarantee certain outcomes.

Gruman also advises getting a second opinion and not worrying about insulting your current physician for doing so. Gruman suggests framing such a request as a desire, "to feel completely comfortable with the treatment you suggest" or even blaming someone else, such as your family for insisting on a second opinion.

Patients seek second opinions for many reasons, including the desire for more information, difficulty communicating with their current physician, dissatisfaction with how treatment is progressing or being told nothing more can be done. Dr. Gruman writes, "While it is true that many diseases cannot be cured, it is never true that there is nothing more to be done."

Jesse Gruman's book, "AfterShock: What to Do When the Doctor Gives You - or Someone You Love - a Devastating Diagnosis", is featured in a column by Jane Brody in the New York Times Health section this week.

Gruman, 53, is a survivor of four serious health crises: at age 20 she received a diagnosis of Hodgkin's disease, 10 years later one of cervical cancer, then five years ago came down with viral pericarditis (a serious infection of the heart's lining) and just three years ago was diagnosed with colon cancer.

Gruman offers much advice for those given a life-threatening diagnosis. For the first two days, she advises to slow down, yet don't act as if nothing is happening, take care of yourself in the meantime, and do what you need to do in regards to having friends and family around (or not).

Gruman advises not to give too much thought to what you might have done to cause the condition. Gruman points out that "the past is past and that the problem now is how to handle the future."

When the doctor's visits start picking up as treatment plans begin to take shape, Grubman advises bringing someone with you to doctor's appointments to write down what is said or even tape recording the sessions.

With each health crisis, Gruman says she was "stunned, then anguished" and astonished by "how much energy it takes to get from the bad news to actually starting on the return path to health."